Some steps are baby steps and some steps are giant ones, or so it seams. Perhaps my surprise at myself, or my feelings, is generated by the consistent, experienced reminder that every one's journey is unique to themselves. So, even with a history of common experience, the readiness, timing, process and reactions are apparently different for everyone. I used to ask, how do I know if I am Transsexual. The answer was always, "Either you are or you are not." Having travelled this path for a while now, and seeing the growth in my comfort level with myself, comparing my feelings between when I present as a vs a girl, I have come (some time ago) to conclude that I am. So, my path is my own. The consequences of that realization is that, in many ways, I am alone. Don't get me wrong, support is essential and I do have a considerable and growing support system. By being alone I mean that I am the one transitioning and no one can really tell me how it goes from and between steps.
So, back to my journey. This is what, for me, was a giant step. There have been others, like beginning hormone treatments - Dec 13, 2011....a day I will always remember, and two days after my wife's birthday. So, get on with it already, right? What was this big step? Ok, here it is.
It started on Thursday, Mar 15, 2011, ironically with a setback. I was feeling a need to start the process of changing my name and had learned that the first step was to get my fingerprints taken for a criminal background check. So, I had a therapy appointment on that day and left work early to stop at the Sheriff's Office (I learned that's where to go from the Clerk of Courts) near my home to get them done. Well they were very nice as they told me that their fingerprint machine was broken and they would be unable to take fingerprints until they received a new machine. Bollocks, as my wife would say. That brought me into Friday, March 16, 2011.
Friday was a "training day" at work. We have one every month and it's set aside as closed for normal business so that people can get their training accomplished throughout the year without having to fit it in between normal business activities. Please remember that I work for the Federal Govt so there is lots of training. Well my training was caught up and all I HAD to do was teach this class from 1-3 in the afternoon. So, I checked into the office and left about 8:00 am to head to another Sheriff's Office to get my fingerprints done. Well I walked in, waited for a few minutes to be called to the window and told them what I needed. As I was sitting there I saw the sign that they no longer took Visa debit or credit cards. Well, of course, all of my cards were Visa cards. I had looked online and saw the fee was $39.00 so I needed an ATM. Luckily there was one in the Govt Building Complex on this campus and the officer pointed me in the right direction. A few minutes later I was back at the window, cash in hand. A clerk came out and told me that the officer would be available in a few minutes and that she could collect my payment and work on my receipt, I told her that would be fine. She confirmed the $39 fee and I handed her $40. A couple of minutes later the officer came out and escorted me behind the secure door and into the fingerprint room. She collected my receipt and I chatted with her about preparing to file my petition with court to change my name and wondered about the process. Well the clerk apparently had somehow heard me say that I needed my fingerprints taken for a concealed weapons permit. So, "bank error in my favor", the fee for the fingerprints to go with the name change was only $5....that's a first. :-) So, electronic fingerprints taken, fingerprint card and the document with a transaction number, that I would need to submit them to the Florida Dept of Law Enforcement (FDLE) online, in hand...I was off to the courthouse across the street to file the actual petition.
So I got to the courthouse and into the clerk's office. Only second in line I thought, this is going to go smoothly. Well as I made my way to the "next to be served" area I saw the sign. Apparently Visa charges aren't competitive and the whole Florida Govt isn't taking Visa. Well I didn't have enough cash and they don't take checks so I knew there was going to be another delay. Well as I didn't have long to wait I figured I'd at least take the chance to ask a couple of questions. When I was called I approached the window, confirmed that Visa wasn't accepted, and told her what I was there for. I told her that I had found the forms on their web site and asked her if she knew how I was supposed to submit my fingerprints to the FDLE. She asked if I had printed the forms from the "Packet" or from the "individual" forms list...of course I had printed the petition from the "individual" forms list. Well she pulled out a sheet and handed it to me and told me that it would tell me how to send the fingerprints to the FDLE and gave me a web address to go to. Ok, a setback, had to get the cash, but now I knew how to deal with the fingerprints. I thanked her and left for work.
Back in the office I looked up the web address on the instruction sheet she had provided me, a broken link with of a bunch of code instructions on how to "debug" the file. I have no programming knowledge and made a half-hearted effort to follow the instructions but no luck. I did not that I was trying to open a PDF file but figured there would be instructions and a hyperlink to another web site. I figured I'd try from home, maybe the security on the govt computers was getting in the way. Well I thought I'd teach my class and go back to the courthouse, after going to the bank, after the class; they are open till 5:00pm and there is a courthouse closer to where I live, and smaller one, so maybe it wouldn't be busy.
I left work about 3:00pm and went home and pulled up the clerk of courts web site and looked for the "packet" of forms I needed. I quickly printed the ones I didn't have and filled them out the best I could. Same problem with the payment for the FDLE form but I thought I could ask about it at the Clerk's office. I didn't think they probably needed them all up front, like the final disposition form, but I'd fill them out and bring them with me anyway. I found a parking space right away and thought that was a good sign. I entered through security and made my way to the Clerk of Courts. Well the parking space was a fluke. I took a number, #49 and waited several minutes until they called the next number, #33. I looked at the clock, 4:10, and started to wonder if 5:00 meant closing the doors and finishing with the people already inside or 5:00 meant the windows closed and those waiting were out of luck. Well a couple more windows opened and at about 4:30 my number was called. I approached the window and was glad to see that this clerk was a girl. I told her that I was there to file a petition to change my name and had several forms with me. I asked if there was an order she wished them in and she did not have a preference. I started with the petition itself, the several pages, including the instructions, paper clipped together. As I started to hand the package to her she stopped me and told me I had to separate them. I took off the paperclip and went to hand them in again and she told me I needed to remove the instruction pages, and I did. Finally she accepted the form and began to look it over. I tried to make idle chat but she wasn't interested. I thought, Govt employee at the end of a long day, so I gave her a break. As she looked over the first page I knew exactly the time that she saw that a boy was changing their name to a girl's name. She looked up and smiled pleasantly and I visibly saw her relax her poster from a "hurry up and get it done" sort of way to a "let's make sure we do this right the first time" sort of way. She got out a binder and looked something up and continued reviewing the form. As she went over each page thoroughly I was thinking that nearly every person that was served before me had something wrong when they went to the window. This was everything from trying to pay with a Visa card to not completely filling out a passport application to trying to file the paperwork for a renewal passport when, as I came to learn, it was clearly marked on the instructions that you could only submit applications for a new passport via the Clerk of Courts. As she finished reviewing my form, including two additional pages of information I added, she reached into her drawer and began to pull out another form. When I saw what she was doing I reached into my folder and produced a completed Family Court Cover Sheet and asked if this was what I needed. She smiled again as she acknowledged that I was correct and displayed a degree of surprise when she concluded all was in order. Not about me, but due to the problems that the typical person had at the clerk's office. Then she announced, that the filing fee would be $401, which I already knew. I also had been to the bank and casually handed her $405, cash. She provided my change and I began to explain the problem with paying to have the fingerprints submitted to the FDLE. She suggested I try a certain abbreviated version of the web site, and I thanked her, though I was not at all optimistic. As I was showing her the paper that the Sheriff's Office had provided me, which I thought was just proof that I had the fingerprints taken, I saw something about credit card payments and a web site on the bottom. This was not the same web site as the other form and I suddenly felt optimistic, and told her so. Business completed, the petition filed, I thanked her and left for home. As soon as I got in I pulled up the web site and within a few minutes I had successfully paid the $43.25 fee and took a deep breath. I had done it.
So at the end of the day:
Fingerprints $5
Background check $43.25
to file the petition $401
The judge proclaiming me Laura Catherine Perry? Priceless!
Not I've really gone and done it. At last. :-)
I am sincerely,
Laura Catherine
i tried to post earlier but droid not let me. congratulations! i know this is a huge step for you. so much money and time. yikes!
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