Well I finally got an e-mail from my youngest daughter. I shouldn't have been suprised that it was eloquently written, she does have a BA in creative writing. She expressed herself well, both her feelings of grief over the loss of her "father" but also her love and relief to know that I am finally able to be myself. Seems she had worried about me for years, and I never knew. The end result, she loves me and wants to continue to have a relationship with me and to get to know Laura. She needs some time to adjust, of course, but she reaffirmed her love and desire to keep our relationship together. I lost both of my kids once, for years, and was afraid I was going to lose them again. I know it's early, but it's looking good so far.
On the other hand, things with my wife are not looking nearly as good. Her feelings are very up and down. We had a really nice talk last night about our future together. She has a flight a week from today to return from England. Well tonight she say's we are finished. I know she is just upset and I have to give her time, but it's hard. One day I fear that when she says we are finished, we will be.
Ups and downs......I guess that's life so, live every day.
I am sincerely,
Laura Catherine
i know its hard for you. but things pass and work for the best. always. i think compassion is the key to helping people understand transgenders. especially transgender children. most people think transgenders are making a decision. really its not that way. when you see a child m2f that innocently knows... and then is persecuted, one understands all transgenders better.
ReplyDeletemy wife's general idea was that she wanted to be "happy". i spent most of our time sheltering my wife. now she wants to be happy? women are brought up to think they are priveledged in some ways and get huffy when they feel they are slighted. the key past this is their heart. they need to see the children. there are some really good youtube things on tg kids. if you try that let me know how it turns out. my wife made a huge mistake. and is suffering ... i can feel it. she thought she was judging me, but really it is a question of her soul, and if she has one that is in doubt. while i wish there were something i could do, there are other forces at work now, and something is whispering to me to be quiet.
Thanks mea. I admit I'm at a loss with my wife. I know she has to grieve but she is so up and down that it takes me off guard. If I give her space, I don't care. If I try to console her she pushes me away. I may try the you tube idea. If I do I'll let you know how it goes.
DeleteLaura
the good thing about up and down is that there is an up! something is there that is good somehow. that is a very good sign.
ReplyDeleteWell there has always been an up, up till now. One of these days I fear there won't be. She is due to fly back from England in 6 days and I don't know if she'll be on the plane.
DeleteLaura
oh dear. poor things. humans are so fragile.
ReplyDeleteSo it seems. :-)
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