Ok, so violated might seem a bit of an over statement for what happened to me so what do you call low level violations. On the anger scale there is annoyance on the low end and rage on the other end, but it's all anger. Surely rape is on the extreme end of violated and some other term on the other end, so it's all on the violated scale. And, this is my journal so I get to say what I want. :-)
So what happened anyway. I was at this local gay/les bar that I go to on weekends for a couple of hours. Not my primary place but I know the staff up there and go there for a little while before going somewhere else. On Sunday nights they have bingo. This was Sunday night. I'm usually one of the very few girls in the place on bingo nights and it gets crowded. To be honest, It's not the most comfortable setting but I figure the guys are gay and I know the bar staff so I'm safe. I do know there are straight people who go in there sometimes though and if they are not regulars, i don't know who is gay vs straight (or bi). Funny, I never used to think about being safe when I was a boy...male privlidge? Anyway, they were taking a break between game when a guy came up behing me. I was sitting on, like a footstool sort of thing so was even lower than a normal chair. This guy was over 6" tall and standing as he walked up behind me, and I'm 5'8". Anyway he came up behind me and looked down, smiled, and said something I didn't understand and said "excuse me". He repeated what he had said, I think it was in spanish -- which I don't speak, and I said again, I'm sorry, I cannot understand you. Well he smiled again -- I'm thinking he spoke english perfectly well as he was able to play the english speaking game and order drinks, and had another agenda with me which made me uncomfortable. Well after the third time he just smiled and stroked my hair and said something else I didn't understand. I think he was trying to compliment me on my hair but I immediately felt my skin crawl. This man, whom I did not know, and without my permission, touched me in a rather intimate way. He may well have been just trying to compliment me but who did he think he was to be able to touch me like that without my permission. I can only imagine what a rape victim must think......Anyway, that's it. I left shortly after. My hair is nice, you can see it in my avatar pic and other pics when I have blonde hair. It is a wig but it's human hair and looks and feels very natural. But that's not the point. He did not have permission to touch me. If that's male privlidge I can honestly say I never took adavantage of it that way. I'm sure I enjoyed other aspects of male privlidge without even know it but I can say I never knowingly and intentionally took advantage others with it.
I am sincerely,
Laura Catherine
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