It's been long time writing but they say you should write when you have something to say. So, I’ve been out since Jul 28th of this year. My wife was away visiting family at the time and I had a couple of months to get to know Laura and I really like her. Not the best way, but I came out to her on the phone. I had come out before and even started counseling before she left to come to a decision about my gender identity, but I knew she thought it was a kink or a phase and didn't take me seriously. Well once I told her on the phone that I was going out she took it seriously. She has been back only a couple of weeks and she's been great. She's gone with me as Laura to a Gay/Lesbian/ straight friendly bar a few times and to a BDSM munch. Like I said, she's been terrific. I intentionally did not expose her to Laura until we were getting ready to go out, trying to give her time. Well on the way home from the gay/les bar Sunday night, everything changed. It surprised me greatly as we had lots of laughs, it was bingo night and she even won a prize, she also won a prize at the BDSM munch...I never win anything :-)). Anyway, on the way home she started getting upset about the idea of losing her husband, not to the "other" woman, but to the "same" woman....if that makes any sense. Monday was a holiday for me and it was spent in considerable quiet tension. Today I was at work when I got a txt message saying that she was thinking about going back home (to where her family is) sooner rather than later. She already had plane tickets leaving on Nov 9th for another 15 weeks away (her youngest is pregnant and she wants to be there for her). But now she was thinking of leaving a month earlier. I'm afraid that if she does leave sooner than later it will be the end of us. I did get her to agree that she would wait until I got home from work before she made a decision. Well I've been home for 6 hours and we've yet to talk. Doesn't look good from where I sit.
Oh yeah, it's also our 8th anniversary today.
I am sincerely,
Laura Catherine
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